Enjoying Long Life Staying Married – Bosede Ola-Samuel
I am burdened with the many deaths of married people these days. Wives and husbands dying in the prime of life. Many average-aged people have become widows and widowers. It’s like death has become a common feature in marriage. Should this be the order of the day? I don’t think so. Why should death be rampaging homes? It’s a significant concern for me, and I decided to try and see how we can stem the tide.
While death is imminent, its occurrence can be delayed as much as possible. This becomes more apparent when we consider many of the occurrences. It is coming across to my mind that with the cooperation of a couple, sudden death is avoidable. My focus today, therefore, is to urge husbands and wives to take more drastic steps to prevent sudden death in their marriages.
Common Features of Sudden Death
* Road accident
* High blood pressure
*Cancers of the breast, cervix, and prostate
How can a couple work together to preventively handle these messengers of death in our midst?
*Life of a partner belongs to the two and not one. So, the stake is for both. What happens to one, affects the other. My hubby used to say in the early stage of our marriage, “It’s my life, why are you bothering yourself?” But my response was always, “No, it’s our lives, and not yours alone.” And vice versa.
An adage in my place means that if a member of your household is eating a terrible insect, and you don’t warn him or her, you will partake of the resultant disturbing sleeplessness of the night. Couples must always bear this in mind in dealing with each other. This is the reasonable duty they own each other.
*To enjoy a long, healthy life, couples should give each other peace of mind to minimise the incidents of high blood pressure and road accidents. Many young married couples have high blood pressure situation. The reason is not far-fetched—lack of peace as a result of a troubled marriage. Incidents of physical assault, emotional trauma, infidelity, etc have become common features of many marriages. Thus, “things fall apart, and the centre do not hold,” is the situation in such marriages.
This makes the mind unsettled for many husbands and wives. While many develop high blood pressure, others get involved in road accidents due to a troubled mind. My father often says that many road accidents are caused by troubled minds behind the steering. Couples must of necessity be helpers of each other’s joy by ensuring that there is harmony in the home. They should stop stressing themselves unnecessarily.
One is amazed at times to see people who professed undying love at the altar, now becoming covenant enemies. We can do better by managing our irreconcilable differences without the marriage heading to the altar of divorce or death.
*As a sicknesses preventive step, married partners should take more than a passive interest in the wellness of each other. Watch out for the symptoms of any ailments in the body of your spouse. Don’t tell me you don’t know how to identify such symptoms. Learn about them through formal and informal means. In this age of technology, there is hardly anything that is not available online. Google is there for you to get informed. Talking with friends, neighbours, and colleagues at work or business places, listening to the radio, viewing television or even social media will go a long way to keep one informed. Of course, such information, especially from social media should be filtered to eliminate fake ones.
Knowing the symptoms helps in the early detection of ailments, thus playing out as a stitch in time saves nine. Be observant concerning your spouse to detect abnormal situations with him or her. It was my mum who discovered that my dad was experiencing sleeplessness in a period. This helped us to solve the troubling situation responsible for the sleeplessness.
Ensure your spouse visits the doctor once you notice any strange thing in the body. Be stubborn about it. My husband once escaped death by the whiskers because I dragged him to the hospital on a particular occasion. I know some of our husbands can be stubborn and play the macho man with us, but we must devise means of making them do our bidding on such issues. After all, we know how to get them to do our money bidding.
The truth is that many of those sicknesses are better managed by early detection. A lot of the untimely deaths through them would have been avoided if detected early enough. The process of lovemaking provides us with access to each other’s body for examination of symptoms of ailments. It was a husband who first detected a lump in the breast of his wife.
Also, self-medication should be avoided like a plague. See a doctor once you notice something strange about the health of anyone in the family. Many people end up damaging their health through self-medication. So, help your loved ones, especially your spouse, to live long by avoiding self-medication. Once you cultivate a culture of no self-medication, money will not be an issue at all. I have seen rich people engaging in self-medication.
* Help your spouse to maintain daily health habits ─ sleeping well, keeping clean in the body and environment, good eating habits, etc., all go a long way to prevent or minimise incidents of ailments in the body. It’s great wisdom to avoid bad health habits to stay long in health on this side of life. Why hurry to an early grave when life there is for eternity?
Lastly, help your spouse to live long by helping each other to shun certain habits that are injurious to their health. Excessive alcoholic consumption, smoking, infidelity, overspeeding while driving, gluttony, and the like, negatively impact the health of individuals. So, work together with your spouse to break such habits. It’s a matter of life and death. So, do all you can do to deal with the situation.
Above all, study your body. Understand what it can tolerate and disengage from what it cannot. Know when it’s telling you to slow down through its telltales to prevent a sudden breakdown. Driving your body beyond its limits will make it drag you to an early grave.
Thomas Hardy said even continual dropping will wear even a stone out. Don’t take your body for granted.
These are a few pointers to the available solutions to untimely deaths in the marriage. We can research more solutions on our own. This is a wake-up call that married couples shouldn’t ignore.
May we live to enjoy a long, healthy life
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