Managing Health Challenges for Marital Sexual Fulfilment By – Bosede Ola-Samuel
One marital challenge that is impacting sexual satisfaction in marriage is health challenge. This is becoming extremely worrisome due to the increasing rate of cancers ─ breast, cervical, prostate, colon, etc. ─ in our society. It is when one is healthy that sexual satisfaction will be a card on the table. Yet, for healthy partners, sexual desire cannot be wished away. It is a natural call that has to be dealt with.
When a partner’s health is precarious, sex is the last thing to be desired. In fact, it is only the great love and understanding of a couple, in such a situation, that can sustain them. It is a serious issue of concern that needs to be addressed adequately. This becomes necessary because of the growing health challenges couples face as they age ‘gracefully’.
Managing Health Challenges
The following information I will pass here will be of great help to those concerned.
In dealing with health challenges, let me state that this is of different shades and colours. It includes cancer of the breast, lung, throat, etc; prostate cancer, cervical cancer, and others ─ even, for health challenges of the common nature, such as malaria, cold, and the like.
Every couple must have to devise means of rising above them to enjoy sex. In a recent situation, a wife complained that her husband had not touched her sexually for months, due to prostate cancer-related treatment, leading him to lose his erection, temporarily.
The issue is that the couple must show a great understanding of their situation. Despite the loss of erection, there are other things the husband can do to let his wife reach orgasm. He needs not to withdraw from touching his wife sexually. All those touches will work for his wife to be sexually satisfied. The wife must also be patient with him, to encourage him for the needful sexual touches that will give both of them sexual satisfaction.
In the case of a situation where the health challenge does not allow for such sexual fondling, couples must employ caring love to fill in the gap. The use of sex toys could serve as a means of achieving sexual satisfaction for them. However, this must be maturely handled in order not to make a partner feel bad or guilty about his/her failing health. The healthy one may also be coming across as being inconsiderate.
It, therefore, behoves the healthy spouse to be discreet about his or her sex needs and the use of such sex toys to reduce the strain of the health challenge on his or her spouse.
In the case of sex being practically impossible due to pains from ailments, the couple must allow love to prevail above their sexual desire. Since sex is a thing of the mind, the couple’s concern about the suffering of the sick partner will weigh the mind down, such that the desire for sex becomes secondary. With this, the couple should be able to pull through without sex.
I knew of a case in which for a space of two years, a spouse had to stay out of sex due to the health challenge of his wife. As difficult as this may come across to many, the husband was able to cope due to the concern he had for his wife pulling through the situation.
However, in reality, it could lead a partner to extramarital affairs. This could be heartbreaking for the sick partner if the cat is let out of the bag. We have instances where this played out in some relationships, and it was a death blow to the sick partners.
I believe strongly that couples should show a high level of consideration for the ailing partner by exercising self-control while it lasts. Such understanding and control might just be what will give the sick partner the staying power to pull through miraculously, knowing that there is someone worth living for. Alternatively, it may sooth the pains of departing this world, with the succour of love.
Conclusively, no challenge should be able to stop us from enjoying sex as a physical activity or as a feeling of love in our hearts. This is why couples need to make their s3x life a love-making one, rather than just a sexual activity. Love-making, if built into the s3xual life of a couple, provides the staying power to pull through health challenges, including the ageing process. With great understanding and self-control, we will be able to pull through.
May God save us all from various challenges that can hinder us from enjoying one of the most important activities in marriage.
It is my prayer that those facing such health challenges will be helped by God to pull through successfully.
