Maintaining Marital Sanity in Trying Times – By Bosede Ola-Samuel
The time we are in the world today is a trying period. A lot of stressful events are plaguing the world. This includes economic crisis and insecurity. These come in various shades and colours. It is quite a challenging moment for the world today. The town is not smiling. Nigeria’s situation in this regard is more terrible given the removal of fuel the fuel subsidy and the exchange rate going through the roof. It has put great pressure on the citizenry. It is therefore necessary for us to exercise restraint in dealing with one another to avoid a terrible conflict situation.
This negative economic situation will lead to a higher degree of conflicts in relationships. Friends, employers and employees, government and citizens will be at loggerheads due to the pressures of life. If there is any time that we all need self-control, it is now. Sometimes ago, a couple engaged in a fight, and in the process, the wife stabbed the husband to death.
In this situation, we all need to exercise great caution in dealing with ourselves. This becomes quite needful for married couples since we cannot afford to ignore ourselves, unlike in other relationships, that can be jettisoned, if need be.
For instance, many husbands are going through a lot in terms of under-employment, loss of jobs, failed businesses, dwindling financial resources, etc. As a result, wives are going through stress keeping the home running. They have become saddled with the responsibilities, which hitherto had been solely shouldered by the husbands or jointly shared by the couples. That is in the area of finance. When this is added to housekeeping, the stress is better imagined than experienced.
Given this scenario, fragility is the best description of the peace in many homes. It requires great wisdom on the parts of both the husbands and wives. This is why all hands must be on deck to ensure that harmony in the marriage does not break down. That is why couples must stay sane to avoid unpleasant situations of marital conflicts and infidelity.
How Do We Ensure That?
Patience
Husbands and wives have to exercise restraint in dealing with themselves in the face of the pressure of funding for the family. While husbands get touchy due to failure in the responsibility of providing for the homes, wives become easily irritable due to the overburdened nature of providing for the homes. The resultant effect is the frequency of conflicts. But, with patience, both can weather through the storms of the pressure at the home front.Family vacation packages
Increased Couples’ Discussion
Couples must spend more time together in discussion to minimise the risk of mental torture for each other. Depression thrives easily in a situation of lack and inadequate financial resources in the home. Couples should therefore be there for each other, to give hope for the future.
Not only that. The discussion should also cover possible solutions to the state of things in the home. They should spend time to plan for a better life for the family. The discussion must also cover counselling each other against vices and enticement for bad behaviour. They should watch each other’s back for evil associations and communications that corrupt good manners. It is a well-known fact that the temptation for misbehaviour is higher in situations of financial crisis.
I read, a few days ago, about a man in Kano lamenting about the harsh economic situation, warning that the crime rate would soon go up because of increasing poverty in the land. Spending time together helps each other’s stability in maintaining behavioural sanity.
Intentional Sexual Health
In times of dwindling family funding, there is a tendency for sex to take the back seat in marriage. As someone said: A hungry stomach does not easily make allowance for sex. A hungry man is an angry man. Sex will not flow easily in times of crisis. So, each couple must be intentional to engage in sex. They should encourage each other to be sexually active in this period of crisis. One of the benefits of sex is to relieve stress. So, couples must take the stress off by engaging in great sex. It is time for couples to give each other great sex treatment to prevent a breakdown of their health.
Increased Friendly Behaviour
What are friends for” is a popular saying. Friendship should be taken full advantage of during this economic crisis period. Couples must deliberately befriend each other in times like this. This becomes easier if friendship skills have been learnt by them before now.
God Factor Must Be Deployed
Faith in the Supreme Being helps us to weather the storms of life. Couples should therefore take advantage of the God factor in maintaining harmony in their marriages in times of crisis. Calling upon God helps to give hope for the future. It helps us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So, if there is any time to draw closer to God, it is the time in which we are.
The schools are preparing to close for the session. Couples must come together to ensure that their schoolchildren have a successful holiday. It should not make us drift apart. Rather, we should bond together. Remember that together we stand.
My prayers and thoughts for best wishes are with all couples and families in the light of the present situation, and always. We will survive if we do not give up. Remember, a winner never quits, and a quitter never wins.
