Motivating Wives To Initiate Sex – Bosede Ola-Samuel
From the feedbacks received about wives initiating sex with their husbands, it is obvious that it is a game changer in marriage. Husbands love their wives to ask them for sex, and this will positively impact on the overall health of marriages. It is no longer news that the underlining factor in most marital hicupps is lack of sexual satisfaction, and wives initiating sex is a factor in sexual satisfaction. How then do we achieve this in the marriage?
Paying attention to the emotional build up of wives. Researchers have proved over the years that women are a bundle of emotions by all standards, including sex. It is easier for wives to initiate sex with their husbands, when they are emotionally connected with them. A woman is the one who sees sex as “love making” in most cases. To a man, sex is sex, and it is not more than that, on a general note. Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction. Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex,” Perel explains. “For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side,” Perel says. “It is their language of intimacy.”
To make a wife initiate sex, the husband must pay close attention to her emotions. She must be convinced of his undivided love; provision of basic needs based on revealed ability (this is the best he can do); willingness to help her in all situations among others. All these makes it easier for wives to initiate sex with their husbands.
Plant Sex in The Mind of Wives
It is often said that sex begins in the morning and in the mind. If wives will initiate sex, husbands must plant the seed for sex in the mind of wives regularly. This can be done in words and deeds. Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire. “I hear women say in my office that desire originates much more between the ears than between the legs,” says Esther Perel, a New York City psychotherapist. “For women there is a need for a plot — hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire,” Perel says. So, it boils down to wetting their appetite in advance, preparing the ground, and stirring them up for sex. Speak right words of love, send love notes, tell them you miss them. If you already know her love language, speak it. These done, you don’t have to ask her for sex. Rather, she becomes a ready and willing horse, waiting eagerly for the ride. Or do you ask an hungry man to eat after setting the table? Not all, I suppose is the right answer. Likewise you can be rest assured that your wife will not just ask you for sex, but she will give you the best moment of sex on such days.
Allay Her Fears About Sex and Its Consequences.
Men have every incentive to have sex to pass along their genetic material, Laumann says. By contrast, women may be hard-wired to choose their partners carefully, because they are the ones who can get pregnant and wind up taking care of the baby. They are likely to be more attuned to relationship quality because they want a partner who will stay around to help take care of the child. They’re also more likely to choose a man with resources because of his greater ability to support a child.”
This quote plays out in marriage as well. Allay all fears by planning the right contraceptives with her; helping her in raising children; be as responsible a husband as much as is generally expected; be great in bed to give her orgasms. All these will translate to her looking forward to moments of sex with you, even when you least expect.
Finally, educate yourselves in the matters of sex, especially if you have a background of religion and low level of education. Researches have revealed that religion and educational level play a great part in the sexual permissiveness among couples. Less religious wives are more likely to embrace initiating sex, different sex positions, and other sex escapades with their husbands. The same goes for the educated wives as well. So, couples should invest in sex education for themselves through books, seminars and conferences. It helps to broaden minds and deal with sex fallacies.
